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Monday, December 15, 2008
BLAH ! lol , random-ness (: .
Anyways , im just gonna post some jokes up just to update my blog !
I dont really have anything to blog bout !
unless you wanna know what i do at home la .
lol ! i've been staying home for a few days already ¬ go out .
Boring right my life ? I KNOW !
Jokes are from CHOK & 2flashgames.com.
anyhoos , anyhow , anyways , here are the JOKES!
JOKE NO.1
thers one canadian..one cow boy..one african..3 of them was stuck on top of a high cliff wid only 3 days worth of food.the african spent 3 days praying to his god.then the 3rd day.he finally stood up n shouted.. THANK YOU GOD! then he ran to the edge of the cliff. then jumped n shouted EAGLE! then he got turned into an eagle & flew away . the canadian n cowboy was like..wtf? so the cow boy gave it a try . he ran..jumped n shouted HAWK! he turned into a hawk n fly away. the canadian was so sure..he ran .. but tripped on a rock den shouted CRAP ! He got turned into crap . (:
JOKE NO.2
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His copilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.
''No rike Chinese' asks the copilot, '....why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !
''No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.
''Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!'There's a few minutes of silence.
I no rike Jews either!' the copilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not' asks the captain.
Jews sink Titanic.
''What That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!''
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg ...no mattah... all same.'
JOKE NO.3
Two military guys go into a restroom. One is in the Navy and the other is a Marine. When they are done, the navy guy goes to the sink and starts to wash his hands, while the Marine starts to leave.
The Navy guy yells to the Marine, "The Navy teaches us to wash our hands."
The Marine yells back, "The Marines teach us not to piss on ours!"
JOKE NO.4
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
ANGELUNA harts* WUGUI (:
Strawberries.(:
Digital camera (canon) 
